True Confessions 101

Confessions of a 5’1 rebel queen

I decided to start this blog to document the progress, trials, hardships, emotional journey, successes and failures of a long hard road to getting what you i want...

Lately, ive been feeling an array of emotion. Severe happiness and gratefulness for all the wonderful opportunities that ive had in such a short amount of time... but also tinges of disappointment or something akin to that due to not getting what i want 100%... more and more everyday i realise new things.. some good some bad..

This blog is nothing but truth... it may be confronting at times for you.. and for me.. but its also for me to express whatever im feeling... and for you to see what its really like...

Lets talk Philippines only.

Being in the industry now for 3months has really made me realise, to its full effect, what it is actually like being immersed in the industry from head to toe... i never really considered myself a fully fledged model/artist until i came here... and it hit me.. im doing this full time.. and im getting jobs and im getting myself out there... its no longer fun and games... its serious.. serious in the sense that in order to well i need to take it seriously and do the things necessary to continue to make myself viable.

First and foremost, doing this is a passion.. so it must always be something that i enjoy.. and it is. Its an amazing experience and an extreme learning curve at the same time.

Keen to make things happen when i first arrived, a respected industry personnel and friend said to me.. being in the industry is about having the right skills, attitude and most importantly, that element of luck. It doesn’t matter how good you are, sometimes luck is all you need. And so far, you could say ive been lucky.

Realisations

Lately, ive been working my ass off to get myself into not only the perfect weight but also the perfect body shape/size that is required of me here... and believe or not... i have really come to understand the gravity of the whole weight loss issue that so many models face and so many people mock or typically associate to people in the industry.

When competing for jobs at castings and seeing everyone around you who are thinner than you.. (when you yourself are already thin) does put pressure on you. It sounds stupid.. but like in every industry or job there is that one thing that sucks or there is that something that you don’t like doing.. and in this industry its keeping an eye on your weight... i find myself constantly working out at the gym, severely watching what i eat and constantly keeping an eye on how my body is going.... i mean im not being ridiculous nor am i caught up... i know what is healthy and what isn’t.. and i know when to stop.. =) but i have noticed that im getting weight obsessed.. and ive realised more than ever, in this industry you are a walking talking business.. so you need to maintain yourself to the standards of the industry.

Frustrations

Don’t burn yourself out. Passion comes from within and sometimes i feel like im doing it for the sake of doing it. Going to castings for the sake of going to castings and not missing a single casting under the mentality that if you do.. you could have potentially missed an opportunity. You know when you have exceeded your limits.. sometimes i feel that way and it gets to a point where i try so hard to feel the passion and the fire and desire that is usually 100% there, that makes you feel and believe you can achieve anything but i guess ive realised you cant force it.. and when its not there it means youre no longer doing it for passion but because i have to..

i get frustrated at times, because i believe and expect to continually get jobs.. but it might not happen that way... and thats when i get frustrated and i feel inner panic.. ive always been like that.. with everything i do i apply so much pressure on myself to complete tasks and get things done and achieve things by certain dates (sometimes unrealistic) and when they dont exactly measure up.. i feel stressed... lately thats how ive been feeling.. February was incredible! And my only hope is it will continue to be as successful if not more.

Everyday i learn things, see things, realise things that will help me better myself and better equip myself in this industry.. just like a lawyer needs to constantly update their self with the law, learning these new skills is helping me to constantly update myself with what i need to survive.

Advice

Whoever said doing this was easy was. .wrong... and whoever felt that just because you’re from another country gives you an instant pass to the express lane was also wrong. Doing this is hard work. It takes hard work. Its challenging. Be prepared to sacrifice a lot. Feel disappointment. Feel threatened. Feel hardships. Feel as though theres no hope at times.. its a competitive industry to play with. But.. when it works, it works! And the thing about this industry is you get rewarded for working hard and when you are rewarded its great.

But remember, dont walk into this industry unprepared because every day is war. And people in this industry are said to go through more job interviews than an average person would in their lifetime.

So let the best man or woman win!

Anyways... i gotta get some beauty sleep...

A

Oxox